


Crash

by vattenskalle



Category: McFly, Real Person Fiction
Genre: (yes ‘tis porn), AU, M/M, crash, really just an excuse to have these two lovely men banging each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:39:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vattenskalle/pseuds/vattenskalle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>We crash into each other, just so we can feel something.</i><br/> </p><p>Or (because that was quite a pretentious summary):<br/>"Look what you've done to my car!" the voice shrieks. "Look!"<br/>"Sir, please stay away from him."<br/>"Why? I just want him to look at my God damned car! I'm not gonna fucking kill him!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this after watching the movie _Crash_. (What? You mean I _can’t_ take a nice, beautiful, deep movie that we watched in school and turn it into gay smut? Sorry, I can’t hear you over my sexy rendition of _The Shawshank Redemption_.) (I am kidding. There is no such thing.) (Or is there?) And then it sat half-finished in my computer for years. Anyway, here it is. I don’t normally write in first person point of view, but we all need to learn some time.
> 
> also DAMN IT ALL TO HELL I HATE WRITING SMUT WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF???
> 
> Dedication: This is dedicated to the way Harry Judd looks in suits. ([because LOOK AT HIM](http://radiostyrd.tumblr.com/post/64762369250), [LOOK!!!](http://radiostyrd.tumblr.com/post/3309255203/i-have-named-this-picture-perfection))
> 
> i don't own anything and i don't know these people and this is not true not at all. [this is for reference if you do not know who simon is (gasp)](https://www.google.se/search?q=simon+amstell)

  
_"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In LA, nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."_  
– Crash  
  
  


“Who the FUCK do you think you are!?”

A yell cuts through the chilly night air, awakening me from my thoughts and bringing me back to planet Earth again.

“Please, sir, step away from the car.”

“No, I will not fucking step away! Don’t you fucking ‘sir’ me; I want to know _exactly_ what this shithead thinks he’s up to!”

“And you will find out, sir, just stay calm, okay?”

The two voices continue arguing, drawing closer to me. I realize that the smoke has cleared up and I’m able to make out the back of a car in front of mine, with its lights still flashing angrily in red and orange. Oops?

“Hey, you! Get the fuck out!”

A knock on the window catches my attention and I turn my head to see who it is. Through the dirty window of my car I can make out the outline of a man’s body. Well, he doesn’t seem too happy.

“Sir, calm down, please.”

“Get the fuck out! I want a word with you!”

I undo my safety belt and lay my hand on the door handle, the metal cool against my warm skin. Pressing it down and opening the door, I step out of the car and find that everything seems to move in slow-motion. The cold air hits me, ruffling my hair.

“Look what you’ve done to my car!” the voice shrieks. “Look!”

“Sir, please stay away from him.”

“Why? I just want him to look at my God damned car! I’m not gonna fucking kill him!”

“I didn’t think so either, sir.”

I look over at the car in front of mine. It’s big, black and looks expensive, especially compared to my old, dirty grey Skoda. Now, I don’t know shit about cars, but even I know that this one had cost the owner a fortune. Probably more than I make in a year. And now it’s got an ugly looking bump from where I’ve driven straight into it.

“Do you have ANY idea how much this will cost me!?”

“Look, I’m real-“

I turn away from the disaster to face the man I have caused so much trouble, expecting to face some scrawny-looking teenager with a dad too rich for his own good. Or possibly the dad in question.

I did not however expect to face the most beautiful man to ever walk this Earth.

His hair is dark brown and short and has a face like a model (seriously, the most _wonderful_ cheekbones), and from what I can make out of his body (hidden under an expensive-looking black suit), it’s pretty fucking awesome. And his eyes, where do I even start? Sparkling like the stars above our heads, blue and cold like ice blocks, but still capable of melting any heart coming their way. In short, they are so pretty they make me write shitty eight-grade poetry inside my head.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, damn ‘wow’!” he sneers. “Were you driving with your fucking eyes closed or something? Because I was clearly signalling that I was stopping!”

I stand there, watching his mouth go. He doesn’t shut up, he just continues swearing and insulting me, all the while the police officers try to make him calm down with their “sir” and “we’ll sort this out” and “please”. It’s as if they don’t even know that I am there, and in one way I’m really not. Because a part of me got lost somewhere in those blue eyes, a part of me is still flying around the world, not willing to come down just yet. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but this might just change my mind.

“I hope you have a damn good insurance, or I’ll sue you!”

“Now, now, Mr Judd, was it? Calm down and we’ll sort this whole thing out.”

The gorgeous man, whose last name apparently is Judd, takes his piercing blue eyes off me and shoots one of the police officers a glare. I can see him shiver as those eyes are on him, but he doesn’t back down. Apparently he’s a bigger man than I am.

“Why don’t you two sit down in that coffee shop over there and calm down, and then you’ll be able to discuss this matter as two grown up men.”

The man, who still seems like he wants to rip my throat out with his bare hands, sighs and turns to walk towards the small coffee shop we had both driven by before the accident. He walks fast, and I have a hard time trying to catch up with him. “I’m really sorry about your car,” I say as I walk two steps behind him. He doesn’t even look as he crosses the road, nor does he send me another glare. He pushes the door to the coffee shop open, and the bell over our heads rings as we enter.

Mr Judd – I feel stupid for calling him that, because it makes me feel like being back in school and this man can’t be any older than I am, but I don’t have anything else to call him – sits down at the counter, and I hesitate. Should I join him?

I decide that it really can’t go any more wrong than it already has, and take the empty seat next to him. He’s still not looking at me. Instead, he signals for the waitress to come over.

“I mean it; I’m really sorry. And I’ll pay for everything!”

“Don’t you ever shut up?” he asks, staring at a greasy spot on the wall in front of him. To be honest, it’s a bit rich coming from him as he has spent the last five minutes shouting his head off, but I let it slide.

“You didn’t say anything, so –“

“What’s your name?”

“Huh?”

Mr Judd doesn’t seem angry anymore, just tired and maybe a bit bored. His blue eyes are still staring at the wall. I wish he’d look at me instead, so that this whole situation would be a little less awkward.

“Can I take your orders?” the young girl behind the counter asks, and flicks her long, brown hair over her shoulder. I smile at her, but before I can open my mouth, Mr Judd speaks.

“Two coffee, please.”

His voice is gentle and firm, nothing like the voice belonging to the angry man he was just a minute ago. Instead, he sounds almost nice. The girl eyes us quickly up and down, then nods and pours two cups of coffee. Mr Judd turns to me and speaks in that gentle voice again.

“What’s your name?”

His eyes meet mine, and I wish that he would continue staring into the wall instead of right into my soul. His eyes are deep, like oceans, sparkling like stars, and have the colour of the summer sky, all at the same time. I can’t remember my name to save my life.

“Um...”

“Two coffee, sir,” the girl comes to my rescue, placing two cups in front of us. The corners of Mr Judd’s mouth peak slightly upwards, as in some appreciating smile. While he sips on his coffee, my brain starts working again.

“I’m Simon, sir. Simon Amstell.”

“Harry Judd.”

“I’d say ‘nice to meet you’, but I’m guessing it’s not really?”

Harry – it feels so much better calling him that than “Mr Judd” – snorts. “Not really, no. Are you always such a shit driver?”

“No, or at least I don’t think I am? I mean, this _is_ my first accident.”

“Here’s to hoping it’s the last.” Harry lifts his cup of coffee in the air, toasting me. I smile.

“Yeah.”

We sit in silence and now that he’s not so angry anymore, Harry actually seems quite nice, if only a _bit_ terrifying (terrifyingly handsome anyway). He doesn’t seem very interested in anything other than drinking his coffee, which is okay with me. I’d probably make an ass of myself if I tried to strike up another conversation. So I take the opportunity to study him instead.

Harry has nice, pink lips that look soft, and a little stubble on his cheeks and chin. His nose is quite big but it suits him as it gives him a nice profile. His cheekbones look a bit like they could cut through glass and I find myself wanting to touch them. Also, it’s difficult to say because of the suit and all, but I can swear he’s hiding some great biceps under there. (I have spent many years checking out men. I might not be a good driver, but this. This I know.)

“See something you like?”

Oh, crapshitfuck. “Um.” You’d think that someone who has spent most of their life checking out fit men wouldn’t be so obvious about it, but apparently I’m not. “I didn’t –“

“I don’t mind. You’re cute.”

“Okay, that was unexpected,” I think. Apparently Harry Judd goes from angry to charming to bored to flirty in less than five minutes. Fuck me, who is this guy? “Umm, thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Harry laughs. “Is this something you normally do? Crash into people and then charm them with your curly locks?”

I shrug. “Maybe. Is it working?” Harry looks me up and down and it makes my skin itch. I feel hot all over my body. He leans in and whispers,

“Follow me into the bathroom in about five minutes, and I’ll let you know.” A subtle wink and he leaves a few notes on the counter in payment for the coffee before heading for the toilets. That’s when I realize I haven’t even touched my coffee, and I wince a bit as I down the now cool beverage. The clock on the wall behind the counter mocks me as the seconds drag by, and I wonder if Harry would mind it if I turned up after two minutes instead of five.

“Fuck it,” I mutter and make my way to the back of the coffee shop where a sign states “MEN’S TOILETS THIS WAY”. I push the door open and find Harry leaning against one of the sinks. He has removed his blazer and the sight of him in a simple white button-down with the sleeves rolled up makes my mouth water. I smile.

“I knew you were hiding some nice, strong arms under there.”

Harry beckons me over to him and wraps one of his arms around my waist. “You’re adorable.” He then leans in and kisses me, and.

Oh wow.

Harry Judd does not only have nice, strong arms and beautiful eyes and soft lips. He also has some mad kissing skills. He kisses the way he looks: firmly and with a lot of confidence, knowing exactly how he wants things. I feel my body go pliant in his arms and cling to him the best I can. He runs his tongue across my bottom lip and I open up immediately, turning the kiss into something deep and filthy. A low moan escapes Harry’s mouth, showing that he’s enjoying this just as much as I am. One of his big hands find its way to my hair and pulls slightly at a few curls. It does something to me and I can’t take it anymore. I need more.

Harry starts kissing down my throat, peppering me with kisses, before biting down and sucking hard just below my ear. The sound that comes over my lips sound almost animalistic and I feel him smile against my skin as he licks over the red mark I know I will find later on.

“You like this, huh?” he whispers into my ear. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

I’m so turned on it’s difficult to get the words out, but I manage to stutter something along the lines of “oh god, yes, so much”. Harry draws back a little and looks me in the eyes, and his beautiful ones are clouded over with lust. We stare at each other for a short moment before I realize where we are. Anyone could walk in on us at any time, and while that’s hot and all, I really don’t want to stop kissing Harry. So I do the only sensible thing.

I drag him by the collar into the nearest cubicle and lock the door behind us.

Harry shoots me a dirty grin and kisses me again, nearly shoving his tongue into my mouth. One of his big (bigbig _big_ ) hands travel down to my crotch and he palms me through my jeans. They already feel too tight and I can’t really believe that this is actually happening to me. I grind down and into his hand almost desperately, and I guess he pities me because he pops the button and pulls the zipper down slowly.

“Hey Curly?” Harry’s voice is heavy and low. “Hey love? You wanna suck my cock?” I stare at him, almost unconsciously licking my lips. Now there’s a thought.

“Fuck yeah.” I drop to my knees in a matter of seconds, not wasting any time, and unzip his dress pants. I slide them down his thighs and mouth at his boxers, dampening the fabric slightly. I then pull them down too, and fuck me, Harry has a nice cock. It’s hard and curving upwards, already a bit wet from pre-come. I look up and find him staring down at me with an expectant look in his eyes.

“Well, get on with it then.”

“Just admiring the view,” I answer. “’tis very lovely.”

Harry groans. “Sweet-talking won’t get me off.” I cock (ha-ha) an eyebrow.

“Have you ever tried it?”

“No. And I’m not in the mood for – ahh –“ I kiss the head softly “– trying it now either. Tease,” he adds.

“Sorry,” I say and open my mouth, taking the tip of Harry’s cock in. I press my tongue to the slit to taste the pre-come and Harry lets out a small gasp. I then run my tongue along the underside of his dick, bringing a hand up to wrap around the base. I stroke slowly up and down while sucking on the head again.

“Simon,” Harry says, voice stern, “Don’t tease.” I pull off and look up at him again.

“Oh? And what are you gonna do about it then?”

Harry doesn’t answer me. Instead he grabs his dick in one hand and the back of my head in the other, and nudges my mouth open again, smearing pre-come over my lips in the process. Okay, point taken. I relax the best I can and open my mouth up wider, taking Harry down deeper. He pulls at my hair again and I moan around him. I start bobbing my head up and down, going a tiny bit further for each time before I feel Harry’s cock hitting the back of my throat. Harry’s grip on my head hardens a bit and he holds me down for a second or two, before I come up for air.

“Oh fuck, Simon, you’re so fucking good,” he pants, “taking it so good for me, fuck babe”. Seeing Harry all worked up like this, a thin layer of sweat covering his face and his dick hard in my mouth makes me so turned on I’ll be wanking to the image for weeks. I continue sucking him off with one hand holding him steady by the hip, while the other find its way into my own jeans, stroking hard and fast.

It doesn’t take long before I feel Harry’s thighs trembling slightly and he starts bucking his hips up, fucking into my mouth. I moan around him and that seems to do it for him.

“Shit, fuck Simon, I’m coming,” he gasps and shoots his load down my throat. I feel him on my tongue, the taste of him, salty and not too unpleasant. “Fuck, I wanna come in your hair next time.”

Harry’s words sends a shiver down my spine and new images pop into my head, imagining Harry riding my face, hovering above me while I suck his dick hard, him coming all over my face and hair. I groan and come too, into my hand. I feel some of my come end up on my jeans, but I can’t bring myself to care.

I sit back on my heels, looking around for some toilet paper to wipe my hand clean. Harry tosses the roll to me, and then leans back against the cubicle wall, obviously spent. He grins at me, a row of straight, white teeth nearly blinding me.

“Thanks,” he breathes out.

“Pleasure’s all mine,” I answer and notice how wrecked my voice is. Guess I’ll have a sore throat tomorrow.

We spend a few minutes like that, trying to get our racing hearts to slow down, before Harry pulls up his pants and unlocks the door. He walks over to the sink and splashes cold water on his face before tucking his shirt back into his pants. He then looks at his watch and clears his throat.

“Well, this was nice.” I nod, unsure of what to say. (I don’t make it a habit of blowing guys in public like this, even if it has happened a few times before.) “Sadly I have to go.”

“Yeah, um... I should probably head home too,” I say. Neither of us makes a move to leave though. Harry laughs softly.

“Drive safely, okay? I don’t want you crashing into someone else tonight.”

“I won’t.”

Harry nods at me. He then takes out a small, white card from his pocket and hands it over to me. I realize that it’s a business card, and that it has Harry’s number on it.

“Well, Simon,” he says and strokes my cheek, “call me later so we can get this whole car thing sorted out.”

“Yeah, I’ll – I’ll just do that.”

A quick peck on the lips and he’s gone. I can hear the far away sound of the bell above the front door as Harry opens it and steps into the night. His touch still lingers on my skin, and I smile a little.

Hey, if I fuck him and make it really good, maybe he’ll let me off the hook and I won’t have to pay him for his car?

It’s worth a try.

**Author's Note:**

> HAHA oh wow now that’s finally done. please leave a comment thank you and goodnight.  
> also holla at me i am [radiostyrd](http://radiostyrd.tumblr.com/) @ tumblr!
> 
> ALSO SHAMELESS PLUG!! i once made a fan video for these two and you can watch it [on youtube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMq-J5EXph0) /end shameless plug sorry.


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